Storms We Cannot Weather
by Idina.Menzel.Girl
Summary: Rachel's dads do everything they can to keep their daughter from her mother but no matter what they do, Rachel just can't forget about Shelby. Set in the first season.
1. More Than A Memory

**I've been working on all my stories on the side and have written about three chapters for this particular story. Since it's a matter of copying and pasting for a couple weeks, I'm adding this to the list of my current stories and will be updating once a week.**_  
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**_People say she's only in my head_**  
**_ It's gonna take time but I'll forget_**  
**_ They say I need to get on with my life_**

The judge ruled in their favor. It wasn't intentional, the child just had a curious mind. Rachel sat on the bed as her mother packed up the jeans, sweaters, and long sleeved dresses. Knee socks were matched and rolled, tucked gently along the edges of the suitcase. Shelby's arm often swiped across her face, wiping away the tears she cried. She knew Rachel being found wandering the streets at one in the morning wasn't because the four year old was curious. Hiram and Leroy had left the girl on the porch. In the two months Rachel had been with her, Shelby had never experienced Rachel just walking off on her own. She wasn't the girl Hiram and Leroy had described in the courtroom. Of course the judge didn't listen to her, she had only known the girl for the two months and now the little girl was being removed from her care and returning to the Berry home. Rachel watched as Shelby pulled open the velcroed belly of her stuffed puppy and listened as Shelby told her not to tell her dads it was there and to call her if she needed help.

Rachel didn't understand. Why was her mommy crying? Why were the police taking her to her dad's house? She waved goodbye to the woman on the porch and gave her a bright smile. That smile faded the moment she got home. Clutching her puppy, Rachel tried to figure out why her daddies were telling her to not go anywhere near her mommy. She'd be in a lot of trouble if she was caught. Mommy was a bad woman. But what did she do? Her mommy was so nice during her stay. She tried to tell them the fun stories of her mommy but they shushed her and told her to forget about her mommy. She'd never see her again anyway.

But Rachel couldn't forget.

**_What they don't realize  
Is when you're dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone_**  
**_ Driving 'cross town just to see if she's home_**  
**_ Waking a friend in the dead of night_**  
**_ Just to hear him say, "It's gonna be all right"_**  
**_ When you find the things to do not to fall asleep_**  
**_ 'Cause you know she'll be there in your dreams_**  
**_ That's when she's more than a memory_**

Seven years later, the closet door opened. Hiram pulled Rachel up by her arm and told her to get ready for bed. The bedroom door closed and the tears streamed down her face once more. She used that word again. The word she was banned from using. Mommy. She threatened to run away to her mom's house and that was a mistake. She was placed in the dark closet until she cried over and over that she was sorry and wouldn't run away. She cried until she had no more tears to cry and sleep swept thickly over her eyes. Her pink dress was tossed on the floor and her pajamas took it's place. She climbed into bed and quickly fell asleep, clutching her puppy and thinking about her mom's face.

She woke up with a start and held her stuffed animal close. Her dream was perfect. Her mom had saved her. She wanted her mom. Her tiny feet tapped just slightly against the wood stairs as she crept to the kitchen. She didn't need to open the puppy's belly for the number; she had it memorized since she was five when she learned to read her numbers. The phone was picked up from the base and six numbers were dialed but a noise from upstairs startled Rachel and she slammed the phone down, grabbing a juice box and scurrying up to her room, telling her daddy she was thirsty as he walked down to his office to do some late night work. Leroy gave the girl a slight, uninterested nod and sent her to her room.

The next morning, Rachel got on her bike and began to peddle her way to school. But two blocks from her house instead of taking a right, Rachel took a left and went three blocks to the park and took a right. Another block passed and she crossed the railroad tracks, checking for a train first. The first street after the railroad tracks, Rachel turned to the right and peddled up the slight hill. Holding her legs out to the sides, Rachel road down the hill, marveled by her no feet talent. The familiar tennis courts were on her left and Rachel crossed throw the attached parking lot, coming to the street she wanted. The rather large white house was at the end of the block and Rachel slowly rode past.

She was too late. The red car was gone and the lights were off. Her mom had already left for work, wherever she worked. Crossing the tennis court parking lot, she rode up and down the hill, crossed the train tracks, passed the park and continued to school.

**_ Took a match to everything she ever wrote_**  
**_ Watched her words go up in smoke_**  
**_ Tore all the pictures off the wall_**  
**_ But that ain't helping me at all_**

Two years passed and the thirteen year old sat on her bedroom floor. Pictures, a Halloween card, a ticket stub to a local play, and drawing of Rachel and Shelby were scattered in front of her. She had managed to keep the items hidden since she returned to her dads' house years before and she often went through the shoe box when she was sad. The garage door below her room rumbled open an hour and a half earlier than expected and the memories were abandoned on the floor until they could be safely tucked back in their secret hiding spot. Rachel ran down the stairs, greeting her dads in the kitchen and helped set the table for dinner.

The items on the floor were forgotten about until she heard Hiram yelling from the second floor. Her eyes widened and her bottom lip was caught between her teeth as she nervously chewed. Hiram and Leroy's yelling went unnoticed by the girl as she watched the match was struck and her mother's face turned to ash and the drawing disappeared quickly with the card right behind it.

What they didn't realize is it didn't make her forget. Her mother's smile and the way Shelby tucked her in at night, would always be in the back of her mind.

**_ 'Cause when you're talking out loud and nobody's there_**  
**_ You look like hell and you just don't care_**  
**_ Drinking more than you ever drank_**  
**_ Sinking down lower than you ever sank_**  
**_ When you find yourself falling down upon your knees_**  
**_ Praying to God and begging Him please_**  
**_ That's when she's more than a memory_**

Shaky legs, blurry eyes, a red Solo cup in hand. Her fourth of the night. She tripped over her own feet, her face crashing into the muddy grass but she made no move to get up. Hands grabbed her instantly, getting her to her feet. She leaned her tear and now dirt stained face on Kurt's expensively clothed shoulder, crying. She had never reached this point before. She had never allowed herself to hit rock bottom. Tonight, she gave in. He tried to take her back to his place to let her sleep it off but she wanted more, so much more that she'd finally forget.

But the next morning, her killer headache only reminded her of the reason for feeling so sick. She still couldn't forget.

**_She's more_**  
**_ She's more_**

**_ 'Cause when you're dialing her number just to hang up the phone_**  
**_ Driving 'cross town just to see if she's home_**  
**_ Waking a friend in the dead of night_**  
**_ Just to hear him say, "It's gonna be all right"_**  
**_ When you find the things to do not to fall asleep_**  
**_ 'Cause you know she's waiting in your dreams_**  
**_ That's when she's more than a memory_**

She begged her boyfriend for three days. She just wanted to go by once. It had been four long months of grounding having been caught drunk by her fathers and six months since the last time she biked past Shelby's. She needed to see it just once to know her mom was still there. Finn's car pulled into the tennis court parking lot as instructed. She pointed to the house, telling him to take his time. Her breath caught, her mom was in front of the house. Her eyes stayed glued to the woman as the truck rolled by.

Shelby heard the car and turned her head to the street. Brown and green eyes locked. Something was familiar with the fifteen year old girl in the passenger seat but Shelby couldn't place it. No, she could place it but she didn't want to believe it. This was normal. The mom spent every waking moment searching for her face. She'd believed many girls to be her daughter but she never found her. The truck turned the corner and Shelby went back to her work, wiping the disappointed tears away.

She couldn't forget either.

**_ People say she's only in my head_**  
**_ It's gonna take time but I'll forget_**

The crowd roared with applause but Rachel didn't move. Heels clicked from the right side of the stage, gently taking her hand and helping her off the stool. Her blank eyes blinked hard and found herself on the stage. A gentle hand laid on the middle of her back and Santana's softened eyes offered her sympathy as they walked of the stage together.

"Go on." Will said, motioning for Santana to join the rest of New Directions on stage to sing their final number. "Take as much time as you need, Rachel."

"Sorry." She whispered, smoothing the skirt of her dress. Not another word was stated and Rachel plastered on her best show face, entering the stage to join in the final performance for the invitational Will had set up between New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline.

The music stopped moments later, Rachel's eyes trained on her feet. The crowd applauded the group one last time and Rachel raised her head. The team stood still, waiting as the host gave them their final introduction. Rachel's eyes darted around the auditorium, unable to focus on one thing for more than a few seconds. That was until her eyes fell on the woman in the third row, dead center. Her dry lips parted and her breathing sped up. Her eyes never left Shelby's, even as she walked off the stage.

Shelby got up from her seat during the break after New Direction's performance and she headed off to find Rachel. She knew it was risky but she had to take the chance. This moment may never come again.

Rachel had the same thoughts and she rushed through the long hallway that poured into the lobby. Her eyes scanned the room in search of Shelby, hoping the woman was still around. A rough hand grabbed her arm and spun her around. Hiram's angry eyes bore into her and Rachel winced in pain as Hiram's grasp tightened.

"Why is she here?" Hiram asked. "How did she know you were performing tonight?"

"Who?" Rachel asked.

"You know damn well who I am talking about." Hiram gritted, trying to keep his voice down. "Why is Shelby here?"

"I don't know." Rachel truthfully told him. Shelby hadn't been sitting there during her duet with Finn or her solo and Rachel didn't know she was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline.

The weekend had been hell for Rachel. Her dads made her leave the invitational without even being able to tell anyone she had to leave, Rachel's absence worried Shelby but she had no idea where the Berry's lived as they had moved after Rachel had been returned to them when she was four. The men had gone through every nook and cranny of her bedroom, searching for anything that might possibly be Shelby related. They didn't find anything as there was nothing to find, except for her phone number and Rachel was thankful they had over looked the puppy sitting on her bed. On top of losing the privilege to attend driver's ed, she was now being taken to and from school either by her dads or her elderly neighbor, Rachel's phone was taken away and she was banned from being apart of glee.

Rachel walked into school Monday morning and went directly to her locker. She was suppose to tell Mr. Shue that she was going to have to quit but she planned to tell him later in the day, at the beginning of glee club. Santana and Quinn came around the corner, spotting their friend. Rachel closed her locker and turned to go to her class when she spotted the pair.

"Hey, midget you're alive." Santana teased.

"Yeah, what happened to you Saturday night? And why didn't you answer your phone at all?"

"Family emergency." Rachel shrugged, fixing the strap of her backpack to rest more comfortably on her shoulder. "And I'm grounded from my phone for awhile for smarting off to my dads."

"Damn." Santana pouted. "Our late night text sessions are gonna suck without you."

"Sorry." Rachel replied.

"Do you know when you'll get it back?" Quinn asked.

"Two weeks or so." Rachel said, unsure if she'll ever get it back. "But, look, I better get to class. I have a test first hour."

Rachel left the girls and went up to the third floor to her first class. The day went by faster than Rachel wanted it too. The glee kids were gathered in the choir room, surprised that Rachel was the last one to arrive. Will was stapling the last few packets of sheet music for the day's assignment and Rachel asked to speak to him privately.

"What's going on?" Will asked, already seeing the misery on Rachel's face.

Her bottom lip quivered as she began to speak. "I regret to inform you that I can no longer be a member of the New Directions."

"What? Why?" Will asked. Surly he had heard her wrong.

"My dads just think it takes up too much of my time." Rachel lied. "I'm sorry but I have to go, my dads are picking me up and are probably waiting for me."

"Maybe I can talk to them?"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Rachel brushed him off. "Tell everyone, that I'm sorry and if they need help with glee assignments, I'm willing to help. Please?"

"Of course." Will nodded as Rachel left the room, ducking her head to avoid the looks that were thrown her way.

Rachel wiped her tears away as she went outside to see if her dads had arrived. The parking lot was nearly empty and the rain was soaking Rachel's jacket. She stepped back a few feet to be underneath the over hang and out of the rain. Her dads said if they weren't at McKinley by 3:45 to walk home. She didn't check the weather before hand and wasn't expecting it to rain, leaving Rachel without an umbrella. Five minutes to four, Rachel sighed, knowing it was time for her to start walking. The rain had settled into a light sprinkle and Rachel hoped she would be able to get home without it pouring.

Just two blocks from school, Rachel stood on the street corner, waiting for her turn to cross the sorta busy street. As she stepped into the road, a car honked at her and she jumped back onto the sidewalk. The black SUV came to a stop along the curb and Rachel knew who the car belonged too. She took a few steps into the road but walked over to the car as the door opened on the driver's side. Shelby stepped out of the car, hugging her arms close to her body as the steady rain pelted her face.

"Rachel?" Shelby half whispered out.

"I can't be seen with you." Rachel said. "I'm sorry, Mama."

"I just wanna talk to you for a few minutes." Shelby begged,moving closer to Rachel. "Please, I promise they won't know."

Rachel looked around, just in case her dads might be around to pick her up and when she didn't see them, she looked at Shelby and shook her head. It was too risky. Her dads could be anywhere, watching her every move. She bit her lip and tried to find a steady voice. Most of all she was holding back from running into her mother's arms.

"I have to go." Rachel said.

"I love you, Rachel." Shelby said.

"I love you too, Mama." Rachel responded and slowly crossed the street

The SUV didn't move an inch as Rachel continued to her house and stayed in it's spot until Rachel was out of sight. Her dads' cars were in the drive when Rachel got home and she walked into the house, making sure to keep her wet shoes off the carpet and hung up her jacket.

"I'm home!" Rachel called out.

"Keep your voice down." Leroy hushed her as he came out of the office. "We're trying to work. You need to get started on your chores and homework."

"Yes, Sir."

Rachel grabbed a quick snack from the kitchen and went up to her room. Most of her homework was done but she opened her Spanish book to study for the quiz at the end of the week. She continued to study as she did her chores, finishing before dinner was ready. Rachel set the table and poured three glasses of water. Hiram and Leroy came in, each grabbing their plates and scooping the contents of the crock-pot onto their plate. Two cans of soda were grabbed from the fridge and the men slipped back into the office, shutting the door. Rachel got up and peered into the meat filled pot, making a noise of disgust. She made her own dinner and sat down by herself to eat. After dinner, she washed up all the dishes and retreated up to her room. Well, what was left of her room.

At one time the walls were completely filled with posters, Playbills, and magazine clippings of her favorite Broadway shows and Broadway legends. The walls had been so filled that hardly any yellow paint could be seen. She got up from her bed and sat down on the overstuffed chair in the corner of her room. The bookshelf to her right was empty, except a few non-musical or Streisand related DVDs. All of her CDs, DVDs, and sheet music was in the outside trash can with her posters and other wall decor. She missed the way her room looked before but after her dads had done some research on Shelby, they learned she was the coach of New Direction's rival, Vocal Adrenaline and had once done some off Broadway work. This was the reason for her dads removing everything Broadway and banning her from glee.

Tuesday morning, Rachel was bombarded by over half the glee club.

"What the hell Berry?" Puck asked.

"Your dads can't be serious about making you quit glee." Kurt said.

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered, her voice cracking just slightly.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Santana asked.

"Everyone was so excited from winning the invitational, I didn't want to ruin it. I figured it would be better to wait." Rachel explained.

"Will you be able to come back?"

"I don't think so Artie." Rachel shook her head.

Slowly the group dispersed, leaving Rachel, Quinn, and Santana. The two cheerleaders followed Rachel to her locker.

"I don't get it." Santana said. "I mean you get all your school work done during the day and glee only runs until five. I know you're constantly trying to come up with creative ideas but its not like you're unable to do other things, like chores."

"Something's up with you." Quinn said. "Rach, the three of us have been friends for three years. Three long and secretive years. Now you're acting stranger than usual."

"It's nothing. I'm just upset about having to leave glee."

"You're lying." Santana said and Rachel let out a deep sigh.

"It doesn't matter anyway, they've mad their decision and it's final. I can't be in glee anymore."

Quinn looked at her friend with worry. The blonde knew about Rachel's home life but both her and Santana had promised not to say a thing to anyone. Now that Rachel knew Shelby was the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, she really didn't want to tell her friends more about her mother. They didn't even know Shelby was at the invitational and she wanted to keep it that way for the time being.

"Well if you can't be in glee anymore." Quinn said, spotting Sue down the hall with handfuls of freshly dry cleaned uniforms in her hand. "Who says you can't join the Cheerios?"

"What?" Rachel asked, confused. She glanced over at Santana, who wore the same smirk as Quinn.

"Hey coach!" Santana called, dragging Rachel up to Sue.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! **

**The song used is called More Than a Memory by Garth Brooks.  
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	2. Somewhere Only We Know

Rachel played with the skirt of her Cheerio uniform as she sat in the front seat of Quinn's VW Beetle. It had been easier than Rachel thought it would to talk Sue into letting her be apart of the squad but with her extensive background dance and gymnastics, topped with her small frame, Sue decided Rachel would make a great flyer. Though her dads were glad she had found something other than glee to occupy her time, neither one had an interest in seeing her cheer. This made Rachel very happy. For a week, Rachel worked with Quinn and Santana to get caught up on the routines for the football games and it took four days for Rachel to get caught up with them on the routine for the sectional's competition for cheerleading. Her schedule was hectic but it was well worth it.

Her day started at five in the morning, when Rachel got up and headed to McKinley. Her dads thought she was working out in the gym with Quinn and Santana but really she was at cheer rehearsals. After that, she'd shower and change into her uniform at school and then attended all her classes. Glee started at three thirty but as far as her fathers' were concerned, Rachel was at Cheer practice.

Two weeks had gone by since the Invitational between Vocal Adrenaline and New Directions and two weeks since Rachel had joined the Cheerios. Her first time performing with the Cheerios at a home football game was coming up and Rachel wanted Shelby to be there. Now that she was sure her dads weren't on to her secretly still being apart of New Directions, she could sneak over to Shelby's before glee started. With only fifteen minutes before the rehearsal was slated to start, Rachel jumped out of Quinn's car as she parked in front of Shelby's house.

Shelby's Range Rover was parked in the driveway and Rachel sprinted across the front yard and up the porch, taking the stairs two at a time. Her slim finger pressed the doorbell twice and she anxiously shifted her weight between her left and right feet as she waited for Shelby to answer the door. It was the middle of October and the weather was getting chiller by the day, making it more and more uncomfortable for Rachel to wear her uniform, especially since Sue banned Rachel from wearing knee socks with her Cheerio's outfit.

Shelby heard the double ringing of her doorbell from the basement, where she was doing some laundry. Taking the stairs two at a time, Shelby beelined for her purse that was on the kitchen counter. She had ordered seven boxes of Girl Scout Cookies three days ago and the little blonde eight year old had promised, she would be back later in the week to deliver the goods. Yanking her checkbook from her purse, Shelby found the pre-written check and dashed to the door.

Rachel had waited for quite sometime for Shelby to answer the door and when she didn't, Rachel assumed Shelby had gone out with a friend and had left her car at home. Retreating down the porch stairs, Rachel began to walk across the still green grass to the mailbox. Shelby opened the front door and saw the cheerleader walking away.

"Rachel?" Shelby was surprised to see Rachel at her house.

Rachel, upon hearing her name, whipped around, staring at her mother. A wide smile spread across Rachel's face and one fell over Shelby's as Rachel walked back towards the house, picking up speed as she went. Shelby placed the check in her pocket and met Rachel at the bottom of the porch steps. For the first time since she was four, Rachel wrapped her arms around Shelby's neck and buried her face into Shelby's neck. Shelby had her arms around Rachel's midsection, lifting the girl up, feeling Rachel's legs wrap around her waist.

"I miss this so much." Shelby whispered into Rachel's hair, her voice was thick with tears.

During the nine weeks Rachel had lived with Shelby, every afternoon when Shelby arrived home from her job as the music teacher at Lima elementary, Rachel would run into Shelby's arms for a hug. The girls' little arms would squeeze tightly around her neck and her short legs would cling to Shelby's waist. Shelby greatly missed coming home to the excited girl.

"I miss this too." Rachel cried into Shelby's neck.

Shelby placed Rachel back on the ground and gently wiped away the tears that were rolling down Rachel's face.

"You're so beautiful." Shelby said. "And all grown up."

"But not so grown up that I don't need a mother." Rachel said, using her own hand to wipe away the last few tears.

"Of course not." Shelby agreed.

"Which is why I am here." Rachel said, unfolding the piece of paper in her hand and she handed it to Shelby. "It's my cheerleading schedule."

"You cheer?"

"For like two weeks." Rachel lightly chuckled. "Ever since my dads banned me from glee following the invitational. They saw you and found out that you're a show choir coach, which is why they forced me to quit the New Directions. However, my friends Quinn and Santana came up with the idea that I join the cheerios to make my dads think I switched to cheering. I'm doing both, except they don't know that."

"I'm sorry, I should have made sure they couldn't see me."

"They would have found out you were there anyway, Mama, you're the coach of the other team. At some point they would have figured it out."

"I guess you're right." Shelby sighed. "It still makes me feel bad that you have to go through all this trouble just to be in glee."

"It's not just to be in glee. I can survive without being glee but I'm doing this to see you." Rachel said. "That's why I'm giving you my cheer schedule. Since my dads hate cheering, you can come watch me."

"You want me there?" Shelby asked.

"Please, Mama?" Rachel begged. "I wanna get to know you and have some sort of a relationship. We can have that now."

"I'll be there." Shelby said, rapidly nodding her head so hard, Rachel thought it was gonna snap off. "Every single one. I promise."

"Thank you." Rachel threw her arms around Shelby.

Santana and Quinn got out of the car to let Rachel know that they were going to have to leave soon to go to glee. They approached the hugging mother and daughter, Quinn used her hand to get Rachel's attention.

"Rach, we have to go." Quinn quietly said and glanced over to Shelby. "Sorry Miss Corcoran."

"Mama, this is Quinn and that's Santana. It was them who thought of having me join the squad."

"Hi girls." Shelby smiled gratefully. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Santana and Quinn both replied.

"I should go." Rachel hesitantly said.

"Okay." Shelby nodded and gave Rachel on more hug. "I love you, Baby."

"Love you too." Rachel whispered into her mom's chest.

Shelby folded up her blanket, hugging it to her to try and keep just a bit warmer as she climbed down the bleachers of McKinley's football field. Her once hot cup of coffee was now as cold as her and she frowned as she tossed what she referred to as_ Heaven in a Cup, _into the trashcan at the bottom of the bleachers. Shelby tried to move around the crowded pathway that led down to the school parking lot. She saw the large group of cheerleaders entering the side door of McKinley to go into the gym and figured she had quite sometime before Rachel would be done.

It was now December and a thin sheet of snow coated the ground. There was a gentle dust of snow falling from the sky and Shelby started her Range Rover to get the car warmed up while she brushed the snow from her windows. Finally getting into her toasty warm car, Shelby pulled off her mittens and held her frozen fingers to the vents. She tossed her navy knitted hat onto the dash to let it heat up as well while she waited. Fifteen minutes later, Rachel emerged from the school with sweatpants on under her cheerio's skirt and a hoodie was zipped up over the rest of her uniform. Quinn ran out after Rachel, getting her friend's attention. Rachel looked to the SUV, holding up a hand to tell Shelby she'd be a minute and Shelby nodded, giving Rachel a small wave as well.

The girls spoke for several minutes before Rachel made her way to the now warm car, getting in the front seat.

"Sorry, Quinn needed me to explain our History assignment to her. She had a dentist appointment and missed the class."

"That's alright, it gave plenty of time for the car to warm up. You must be freezing from being out in a skirt. At least you are able to have long sleeves." Shelby said, pulling out of her parking spot. "You are getting better and better each game."

"Thanks." Rachel said, holding her hands to the air vents. "It's so freaking cold."

"Here." Shelby said, grabbing the mittens she had tossed by her hat and she handed them to Rachel. "Put these on and sit back."

Rachel slid the gloves on and sighed at the warmth they gave. Shelby looked over at Rachel and smiled but then frowned and pulled over, stopping the car immediately.

"Where's your seatbelt?" Shelby asked.

Rachel blushed and clicked her belt in place. She had been in her mother's car close to eight times since the day she brought Shelby her cheer schedule and knew the rules.

"I forgot." Rachel apologized.

"Let us not forget it again, young lady." Shelby warned and she pulled back on to the road. "You wanted to go to Red Lobster tonight, right?"

"Yeah!" Rachel grinned, she had forgotten that she had asked her mother if they could go two weeks ago when she last saw her. She loved their salads.

"How have you been doing with your eating?" Shelby asked.

It had been a huge concern of Shelby's for the last three weeks as she had witnessed Rachel collapsing in the middle of one of her weekend cheer practices. It had been one of the scariest moments of her life. She had noticed Rachel was sluggish through the first half hour of the practice and was worried that something was wrong, maybe Rachel was becoming exhausted from all of her activities. By the time she reached Rachel, the girl was back on her feet but was complaining of being lightheaded. Shelby demanded that Rachel be pulled out for the rest of practice and didn't even give Sue the chance to tell the teen to suck it up.

Rachel had practiced being a vegan for the five months prior to her collapse but since her dads stopped buying special foods for her and stopped making vegan friendly dinners, it was really hard for Rachel to maintain her chosen lifestyle. Though she had asked her dads multiple times to purchase some foods she was able to eat, the pantry was full of food Rachel couldn't eat. For breakfast Rachel kept it small, a banana and oatmeal or else she'd feel sick during morning cheer practice. School wasn't any better either, for lunch Rachel could usually only order a small salad and water or juice and at home she ate whatever vegetables were served. This was not a proper diet for Rachel, especially with cheerleading and glee.

Shelby was pissed. How hard was it to pick up a few extra items for Rachel? Clearly it hadn't been hard in the weeks and months beforehand, so why had they stopped? Rachel played it off as her not being hungry but Shelby didn't buy it.

What she did buy, though, was vegan snacks for Rachel so she could be a part-time vegan. She would have loved to buy the girl dinner items and other things to cook a real meal with but it would make Hiram and Leroy suspicious. So instead, after making sure Rachel was okay and stopping to feed her, Shelby took her to the grocery store and loaded her up on snacks and a few microwavable dinners that they gave to Quinn to bring to school a few times a week.

"Good. My dads weren't home yesterday night so I saved the lunch Quinn brought me and had it for dinner." Rachel said.

"I'm glad to hear that." Shelby said. "And you haven't been feeling lightheaded at all?"

"Once but I drank one of those protein shakes you got me and I started to feel better."

"Do you need anymore?" Shelby asked. She had bought Rachel a few packs of the shakes and Rachel kept them stored in her school locker, bringing some home as she needed them. "What about your snacks?"

"I'm fine, Mama." Rachel rolled her eyes. It was nice to have a parent who cared but Rachel still wasn't very use to it. "Quinn and Santana's mom's have been getting me lunches too.

"Remind me to give you some money to pay them back when I drop you off."

"They said it was no trouble and for you to not worry about it."

"Nonsense." Shelby replied. Rachel was her daughter to take care of and even though she couldn't physically be there for Rachel every moment, she'd at least take responsibility for her own child's eating.

"Okay." Rachel replied in a sing song voice. She knew Judy and Maribel very well, as they had become like second and third mothers to her, and neither one would ever think about accepting Shelby's money.

"So are you spending the night at Quinn's?"

"Uh, no." Rachel said impishly and Shelby raised her brow.

"What did you do?" Shelby asked, quickly glancing at Rachel, who's mouth was open and ready to spew lies. "The truth, Rachel."

"Quinn and I may have snuck out of her house Monday night." Rachel said.

"You may have or you did?"

"I may have did." Rachel answered.

Shelby pulled into a parking space and killed the engine. Taking her warmed up hat, Shelby slipped it over Rachel's head, tugging it over her high pony. The pair got out of the car and hurried into the restaurant to get out of the cold. Rachel took of her mom's hat and gloves, shoving them into the pockets of her hoodie, knowing Shelby was going to make her wear them when they left. Shelby went ahead of Rachel and put her name down on the waiting list and she returned to Rachel's side, motioning for her to sit on one of the two benches to wait.

"How is Dustin working out?" Rachel asked of the new co-coach Shelby hired to take over in running Vocal Adrenaline's rehearsals when Shelby was spending time with Rachel.

"Quite well actually." Shelby said. She had been hesitant to hire someone to help her out but seeing Rachel was very important. Seeing as Dustin understood that Shelby was in charge overall and didn't try to fight for dominance, she wasn't so worried about working with someone.

"New Directions is very well prepared for our Sectionals competition. Our win at the invitational has given us motivation to defeat the other choirs and go on to demolish your team at Regionals." Rachel said. "While you are currently the best show choir in the nation, your down fall is only inevitable but don't worry my membership to New Directions will keep the legacy going as we make our climb to the top. Perhaps we will be the first mother-daughter duo to hold records of most consecutive wins?"

"Right." Shelby said, lost in Rachel's comments. "However, I am more interested in why you and Quinn skipped school Tuesday."

"We didn't skip school." Rachel corrected. "I just didn't attend two of my classes without permission."

"Whatever." Shelby said, giving Rachel a pointed look to explain herself. "You have thirty seconds."

"I was spending Monday night at Quinn's house and we wanted to go see this movie but Judy said no. We really wanted to go so we snuck out of the house after Judy went to bed. Judy was waiting up for us when we got home and well, we got in trouble. Judy made us go right to bed and the next morning Quinn and I were so tired so we spent our first two classes sleeping in the prop room of the auditorium." Rachel explained. "I'm banned from sleeping over on a school night for two weeks."

"Rachel Barbra, what on earth were you two thinking?" Shelby proclaimed. "What time did the movie start?"

"12:45." Rachel mumbled.

"I can't hear you."

"12:45." Rachel spoke up.

"Meaning you didn't get home until around three." Shelby stated more than asked.

"It was a quarter to four." Rachel said, staring at her hands.

"Lovely." Shelby rubbed her face with her hands. "Rachel, you and Quinn are fifteen and have no business being out of the house at that hour. And not to mention the fact that had you and her been caught by the police, you would have been arrested for breaking curfew. Lima prohibits minors seventeen and under from roaming the streets between the hours of eleven pm and four am."

"Quinn is sixteen." Rachel said. Shelby narrowed her eyes and Rachel tried to ignore the piercing look. "And we didn't get arrested."

"No you didn't and you are lucky." Shelby said. "But that doesn't excuse you from breaking Judy's rule about not seeing the movie. She said no and you should have respected that. When you see her tonight before Quinn takes you home, I expect to hear an apology."

"I already told her I was sorry." Rachel whined. Her first of many and Shelby didn't let it affect the rest of her small lecture.

"So doing it once more shouldn't be an issue." Shelby said, refusing to hear Rachel's objections. "And I don't want to find out about anymore misbehavior with either Judy or Maribel. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Rachel quietly said.

"Good girl." Shelby smiled and patted her daughter's knee. "Now let's talk about how amazing you were tonight."

"You already said how good I was."

"So I wanna brag." Shelby rolled her eyes with a lazy flick of her wrist. "My baby was the best one out there."

"Mama." Rachel blushed as Shelby wrapped an arm around her.

"Am I embarrassing you?" Shelby asked with a slightly sarcastic tone. She remembered how humiliated she had been at Rachel's age when her parents hugged and clung to her.

Rachel tilted her head at Shelby and gave a small smile, which grew larger. "Of course not." She said, giving Shelby a hug.

A little over an hour later, Shelby and Rachel sat in the black SUV outside of Quinn's house. Shelby was consoling Rachel, who didn't want the night to end. She wanted to go home with her mother, forever. Shelby wanted Rachel to go with her too but there was nothing she could do. She had already spoken to four lawyers, who all told her that due to the contract and giving up her rights almost sixteen years ago, only Hiram and Leroy could start the petition for having her rights reinstated. Unless, there was substantial proof of neglect and/or abuse.

As far as Shelby knew, Rachel being left out in the cold at age four was the only instance of neglect. Shelby had asked many times before if it had happened again or if they had treated her poorly in any other way but Rachel would only shake her head in response. Shelby knew there was more than Rachel was letting on and couldn't do a thing about it until Rachel opened up.

"I'm sorry. I do this every time." Rachel said, wiping away her freshest tears. Rachel knew she needed to tell Shelby about the things her dads did. The only thing that was stopping her was the few memories she had when she was four. Rachel had told and no one but her mom believed her. The cops and judge told her to be good and not leave the house without her fathers' permission. Why would this time be any different?

"Don't be sorry. We will get this all figured out eventually." Shelby whispered, swooping Rachel into a hug. "I love you Rachel and nothing will change that."

Rachel nodded and whispered that she loved Shelby too. The front door to the Fabray house opened up, Quinn and Judy walked down the drive. Rachel gathered her things and Shelby followed her up to meet Quinn and Judy by Quinn's car.

"Good evening, how was dinner?" Judy asked, shaking Shelby's hand.

"It was very nice." Shelby smiled. The two traded a few pleasantries, while Rachel moved to stand next to Quinn. Shelby and Judy stood just a few feet away.

"Anyway," Shelby said a couple minutes later. "I should get going."

She didn't want to risk hanging around the Fabray house too long in case the men came looking for Rachel. She glanced over to Rachel and crooked her finger at the girl. Rachel slumped her shoulders and walked over to her mother. Shelby turned her to face Judy and placed two firm hands on Rachel's shoulders.

"Before I go, Rachel has something she'd like to say." Shelby told Judy and looked down at her daughter. "Rachel."

"I'm sorry for sneaking out of the house and." Rachel started, looking everywhere but at Judy. Shelby noticed this and tapped her arm twice, motioning for her to look Judy in the eyes. Rachel obliged. "And for going to the movie when you said no."

"Apology accepted." Judy said, cupping Rachel's cheek. "But you know what will happen if you break one of my rules again."

A quick wiggle of Judy's brows made Rachel realize she was expecting an answer. Very quietly, almost to the point Shelby couldn't hear, Rachel recited the saying she had been hearing for the last seven years.

"I will find myself in the corner with a very sore bottom."

"That's right because those who break the rules like children, will be punished like children." Judy said, looking up at Shelby, who wore a small smirk.

"Rachel, did you get everything from my car?" Shelby asked.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Alright, then I suggest you and Quinn get going." Shelby hugged Rachel one last time. "Remember, no more trouble."

"Okay, mama." Rachel sniffled as Shelby firmly whispered in her ear.

"Because I can guarantee that my hand hurts worse than Judy's." Shelby said and she felt Rachel tense up. Her point had been made. She straightened up and turned Rachel in the direction of Quinn's car, giving the girl a quick swat for good measure. "Love you, baby."

"Love you too." Rachel grumbled, rubbing her backside. "Come on Quinn."

"Quinn, you take Rachel home and come right back. You understand?" Judy said.

"I will mom." Quinn rolled her eyes as she got into her car.

"And girls!" Shelby called before Quinn or Rachel could shut their doors. "Seatbelts."

"Mama." Rachel griped. "We know."

"Alright, drive carefully." Shelby chuckled and turned to Judy. Her car was directly behind Quinn's, so she was going to have to leave as well. But before she went, Shelby dug out her wallet. "Rachel told me that you and Maribel were buying her some lunches and I wanted to pay you back."

"Shelby, don't worry about it."

"But-"

"Maribel and I see Rachel as one of our own, so it's really no big deal." Judy said. "I still don't understand why the Berry's are being this way."

"Me either." Shelby sighed.

"Has Rachel told you anything more about them?"

"No, I tried to talk to her again today but she said everything was fine."

"Quinn and Santana haven't said a thing either but I know they are hiding something. Of course they've been friends for seven and eight years, they're never going to break. Their friendship is too strong." Judy sadly said of the girls hiding Rachel's secrets. "I'll try to talk to Quinn again sometime."

"Thank you, for everything. I can't be there for Rachel like I want too but knowing she has you and Maribel really helps me feel better."

"It's our pleasure." Judy smiled. "Now put that money away and save it for a vacation or something with Rachel. She's always talking about dragging you to New York City one day."

"That sounds like my girl." Shelby brushed away a tear.

"I know we've only met less than three times but I know things will work out in your favor. It will take some time but in the end Rachel will be with you."

"Thank you." Shelby whispered, afraid that if she spoke louder, she'd start to cry and had to be strong for Rachel. She replaced the money in her purse and pulled out a scrap piece of paper she ripped off from and envelope and used a pen to write down her cell and home number. "And if Miss Rachel finds herself in hot water, don't hesitate to call me. She has my numbers as well but I don't think she'll be in any rush to call me about her wrong doings."

"I am sure she'll be delighted to know that myself and Maribel have a way of contacting you." Judy laughed.

The two ladies peered over to the red car, where Rachel currently had her hands covering her face.

"She looks elated." Shelby laughed with Judy.

Down the road, Quinn and Shelby came to a stop side by side at a stop sign. Rachel, like she did when she was little and was watching Shelby backing out of the driveway to leave for work, blew her mother a kiss. Shelby caught it, pretending to save it for later and blew one back to Rachel. Rachel, unlike Shelby, never liked to save hers and brought her fist to her mouth, planting the air kiss on her lips.

Shelby smiled and turned to the right, heading home. Quinn's car pushed forward and a few blocks later, pulled into the driveway of the Berry house.

"Thanks, Quinn." Rachel said, jumping out of the car. "See you tomorrow!"

"Bye Rach!"

Rachel swallowed hard and opened the front door. Hiram and Leroy were sitting in the livingroom, reading the newspaper and watching some show about the history of the Stock Market. Neither head looked in her direction, even as she softly said hello. Rachel kicked off her shoes and carried her bags up to her bedroom, wishing she could shut her door. No, that had been taken away last week when she locked herself in her room. Locking the door was not allowed and Rachel had done just that. She had only done it because they were taking away her furniture and Rachel didn't want to give up what was left of her bedroom. It was their fault anyway that she had been caught out of bed after hours. Had they called a plumber to come fix the toilet in her bathroom, Rachel wouldn't have had to leave her room in the middle of the night.

Now all that was left was her blankets and a few pillows, stacked neatly in the corner. Everything was taken out of her room, except two blankets, four pillows, a weeks worth of clothes, two pairs of shoes, and a few toiletries. The rest had been boxed up and taken to the off site storage locker on the other side of town.

Changing into her pajamas, Rachel made her bed and laid down on the hard floor. Curling up into her blankets, Rachel shivered slightly. Her room had always been drafty and most of the time she had to sleep with a heater on. That had been removed too. She hated to sleep with socks on and tried to make the best of it by wrapping her toes up in the fleece material.

It was moments like this that Rachel wished she could be brave enough to talk to her mom.


	3. If I can't have you

A shiver ran through Rachel's spine and spread to her limbs before fading away. Rachel clenched her jaw to keep from chattering her teeth. She pulled curled up into a tighter ball, clutching her comforter in her hands. It was freezing, just like it had been for a week now and it was keeping Rachel from getting any sleep. The alarm clock on the floor, just inches from her head began to wail, signalling the girl it was time to wake up. She groaned and smacked her hand across the top the snooze button, effectively ending the incessant beeping. She rolled on to her belly, hoping for just a few more minutes of rest.

The door to her bedroom flew open not three minutes later and Rachel quickly sat up.

"Let's go. Get up." Hiram bellowed, still in his pajamas. "You're the one who wants to go to this stupid conference and here you are still in bed. Leroy and I finally have the chance to sleep in and we can't because we have to take your ass to the Fabray's. You have five minutes."

"Yes Sir." Rachel said, scrambling to get to her feet.

There wasn't enough time for a shower, so Rachel slipped on her cheerio uniform and pulled her hair into a high pony. Tying her shoes, Rachel got up and grabbed her cheer bag, running downstairs. She packed two bananas and an apple in her duffel before heading out of the house and climbing into the back of the silver car.

Leroy reached his arm into the backseat and snatched the phone that was in Rachel's hands. They didn't need Rachel making any phone calls she shouldn't over the weekend.

"You can have it back Monday morning before school." Leroy flatly said as he searched Rachel's phone.

"Yes sir." Rachel whispered.

"I can't hear you." Leroy narrowed his eyes at the teen.

"Yes sir." Rachel spoke up.

Rachel was thankful that Quinn lived close by and she wasn't stuck in the car any longer than a few short minutes. Judy and Quinn were in the driveway, packing up the car for the overnight trip. Quinn knew to not walk over to the car and she waited beside her mother for Rachel to get out. The car began to back out of the driveway as Rachel reached in for her duffel. And as she slammed the back door shut, the car picked up speed and was out of sight within seconds.

"What was that?" Judy asked the girl. Her tone was serious for answers and Rachel shrugged her shoulders to buy some time.

"They were just messing around." Rachel finally said. "You know, joking around."

"I don't believe that for a second."

"Then I don't know what else to tell you." Rachel sighed. She had been looking forward to arriving at the Fabray's but now she almost would rather be back in the car with her dads. At least they didn't hound her for information.

"The truth perhaps?" Judy said, closing the trunk after Rachel had tossed her bags into the backseat.

"Can we go now?" Rachel asked.

Judy stared at the girl for a moment, looking for an explanation as to why the Berry men would begin to back out of the driveway as their child was half inside the car but that didn't worry her as much as how defeated Rachel was looking. She'd never seen Rachel this way. Rachel prided herself in being presentable, clean clothes, freshly washed hair and skin, pearly white teeth but the more her dads took from her, the more Rachel started to give up. She had too. She wasn't given the chance to wash her clothes, so most everything had stains and she had to do her best to cover them. She was out of toothpaste and out of shampoo for the last few days and was close to running out of deodorant. She felt gross but there was nothing she felt she could do.

"We can go." Judy nodded.

She sent the girls into the house to double check to make sure all the doors and windows were locked. And as soon as the girls went inside, she pulled out her phone and dialed Shelby's number. It had been nearly two weeks since Shelby had dropped Rachel off for Quinn to take her home and they hadn't talked since then.

"Hello?"

"Hi Shelby, it's Judy Fabray."

"Oh, Judy hi. Are you guys on the bus?" Shelby asked.

Though Rachel's dads thought she would be spending the weekend at a Cheer conference five hours away, it was time for New Directions' sectional competition. The glee club would only be staying Friday night in Findlay, OH. It was only and hour and thirty minutes away but because the competition would be ending after ten, the school board told Will they would need to spend the night in the city instead of driving back late at night.

Rachel was looking forward to sectionals, even though Shelby was unable to attend due to her own sectionals competition in Akron that same weekend. However, Shelby would be picking Rachel up from the bus at McKinley on Saturday morning and taking her to Santana's house Sunday evening so Maribel could take Rachel home. Rachel was excited to spend the night at her mom's house. It was the first day of winter break and Rachel wished she could spend the entire two and a half weeks at Shelby's. It would be the best vacation ever.

"No, we're still at my place. I'm waiting for the girls to finish checking to make sure the house is locked up." Judy said. "I wanted to talk to you about Rachel."

"What did she do now?" Shelby half sighed, half chuckled. From what she remembered, Rachel's ban from spending the night at Judy's house for sneaking off to the movies and then skipping two classes the following morning to sleep had been lifted the day before. "And what is her punishment?"

"I wish it were something like that."

"What do you mean?" Shelby asked, becoming concerned. She left the guys helping her set up the Carmel auditorium and walked down the hallway to her office, shutting the door behind her. "What's the matter?"

"She's not herself." Judy stated. "I haven't seen her since the night you were over here and, Shelby, that girl you dropped off is not the same girl who is with me right now. Something serious is going on and it's only getting worse. I want to talk to her and get her to open up but she's already drawn back and tired, I don't want to make it worse especially because of Sectionals today. I think it's imperative that you speak to Rachel at some point and get to the bottom of this. I've tried to talk to Quinn again and Maribel has tried to talk to Santana, but like I said before, the three are so very protective of each other."

"And Rachel's worried about not being believed." Shelby added. Rachel didn't need to tell Shelby this, she could figure that out all on her own. "I'll will of course try to talk to her again. Thank you for calling me and if its no trouble, would you mind if I call Rachel tonight to see how the competition went?"

"No problem, I think we should be back at the hotel around seven and the glee club has an eight thirty dinner reservation."

"Are the girls going anywhere after dinner?"

"No. Mr. Shuester has made it clear that after dinner everyone is returning to the hotel. They have a ten o'clock curfew."

"Perfect. That's what I want to hear." Shelby smirked. "And if Rachel finds herself walking into the hotel after ten, please-"

"-I will call you." Judy laughed.

The moms hung up just a few seconds later, just as the girls were coming outside. She directed the girls into the car and they drove to McKinley, parking in the back of the school where the bus was waiting. The contents of the trunk were moved from Judy's car to the bus and soon they were on the road.

Will was sitting behind the bus driver with Tina's mom, Ashley, right behind him. Judy sat across from Will and Maribel had taken the seat behind her. While the four adults talked, Judy kept a close eye on Rachel.

Santana and Quinn moved from their own seats to sit next to Rachel, each concerned for the way Rachel had been actin over the last week and a half. They had tried to talk to Rachel about it before but their friend only replied that she was fine. They knew it was complete bull, especially when Rachel willingly gave up her solo and duet to Tina without so much of a good reason why. Rachel just wasn't interested anymore.

"Spill midget." Santana said, squished in the middle of the girls.

"Spill what?" Rachel sighed, leaning her head against the window.

"Something is going on. First you've been walking around half asleep for the past week, you gave up your parts for sectionals, and you look like you haven't washed your hair in forever."

"Well sorry." Anger flashed in Rachel's eyes. "If my dads hadn't cut the heat from my room, I'd actually get decent sleep instead of spending most of the night awake and freezing. I'm almost out of deodorant, I've been out of shampoo and body wash for days. And I can't tell you when the last time I wore clean clothes. I've had to secretly swap out my uniform from the cheerio storage room every few days so Sue doesn't make me run laps for having a dirty uniform."

"Rach, we didn't know its getting that bad." Quinn quietly said.

"Why would you? I have been trying to avoid telling you." Rachel wiped away her tears. "It's gotten to the point where I feel it's time to just give in."

"And tell your mom?" Santana asked.

"No, she can't know. I've already told you she can't know. She'll try to get custody but no one will believe me and then she will lose me forever. I just have to wait until I am eighteen."

"Shelby said the contract she signed becomes void if there are signs of abuse, neglect, or your fathers die."

"They're not dying and I'm not being abused or neglected." Rachel stated.

"Maybe not physically but what they are doing to you is a form of abuse." Santana continued to speak.

"I agree with Santana, you really need to tell Shelby."

"I said no." Rachel bit and whispered to herself. "I barely have her now."

Santana and Quinn returned to their seats, leaving Rachel alone in her thoughts. Maribel glanced back at her daughter, silently asking her what that was all about. The whole bus had heard Rachel's outburst. Santana shrugged and shook her head. She really didn't know what do to in that moment.

The room Judy was sharing with Maribel and the three girls was a madhouse. The moms were rushing between each girl, helping them get ready. Rachel sat on one of the two beds, watching Judy fixing up Quinn's hair and Maribel put the finishing touches on Santana's makeup. She let out a saddened sigh, wishing Shelby could have been here and she knew Shelby felt the same way. Seeing Her friends being pampered and done up by their moms only made Rachel more upset.

She got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower, something she had been craving to do since the night before. The hot water felt amazing as it pelted Rachel's skin, turning her a pale pink. She popped open the small travel sized bottle of shampoo, nearly in tears at the sight of the clear cucumber melon scented goop in her hand.

Rachel washed her hair three times and scrubbed her body with the pomegranate and raspberry body wash. She didn't want her shower to end but Rachel knew she needed to start getting ready soon.

With her hair done, dress on and shoes strapped in place, Rachel put the finishing touches on her make up. Maribel knocked on the bathroom door and alerted Rachel they'd need to be heading down to the lobby in five minutes. When Rachel exited the bathroom, she found Santana and Quinn taking pictures with their mothers and each other. Rachel gave an internal huff and grabbed her sweater, storming out of the room.

She was getting quite tired of Santana and Quinn rubbing it in her face that Shelby wasn't there.

Will, with the help of Ashley, was getting everyone on the bus. He offered Rachel a smile, but frowned when the girl didn't say a word and got on the bus. Most everyone was sitting in the far back but Rachel chose a seat in the middle, not too close to the front though.

Santana and Quinn got into the bus just a few minutes after Rachel and one look at their small friend, told them she wanted to be left alone. The girls took a seat in the back of the bus and exchanged worried glances. Maribel got on behind them, shooting Rachel a small glare for her silly little storm out. Rachel rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

"Rachel." Judy said from beside her.

"What?" Rachel harshly said.

"Watch your tone." Judy warned her. "I have my jacket here for you to wear."

"I have my sweater." Rachel said, holding up the black button up sweater.

"It's cold out and you need more than the sweater."

"You don't know what I need." Rachel snapped, facing Judy. "I don't need your jacket."

"I'm not allowing Quinn to go without her coat, so you need one too."

"I'm not Quinn and you're not my mom." Rachel said. "And seeing as my mom isn't even here, I'll do whatever I want."

"Rachel, you know your mom would have been her if she didn't have sectionals with Vocal Adrenaline."

"Maybe she's not meant to be with me at all." Rachel said, staring back out the window. "Maybe we're teasing ourselves."

Judy sat down next to Rachel and took one of her hands in her own.

"What's going on, Rach?" Judy softly asked.

"Nothing." She said enough already.

"Something is going on. How are things at your dads?"

"Wonderful." Rachel said and Judy didn't miss the sarcasm in Rachel's voice.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me. I can help you be with your mom. I know your dads have ways of punishing you, that are very different from typical punishments." Judy said being very careful of her choice of words. Rachel had come to her house plenty of times late at night after her dads had locked her out of the house. Though Judy was aware of this, Rachel never confirmed her suspicions. "If you tell me or your mom, she can go see a lawyer and get custody of you."

"It's not that easy."

"No but it will make things easier."

"You don't understand."

"I know you're afraid the cops and judge won't believe you, your mom knows that's how you feel too, but you are not four years old anymore Rachel."

"I really don't want to talk about it anymore. Things aren't going to be any different just because I am fifteen and not four." Rachel said, pulling her sweater over her, telling Judy to leave her be.

"I wish you could trust in your mom, Maribel and I. We're only here to help." Judy stood up and sat down in the front of the bus.

Once at the theater, Rachel followed the glee club and adults inside. Will got them checked in and lead them to their green room to wait. After handing out the itinerary for the day, Will let the kids go off and wander around the theater with instructions to be back in the room in a half an hour.

Rachel was the first out the door and slipped outside, even though Will had made it clear that no one was to leave the building. The snow was almost a foot high but the sidewalk had been shoveled in most spots. Occasionally Rachel stepped into huge piles of snow that froze her feet. The cold December wind did a number on Rachel and the girl wished she had accepted Judy's coat. Her toes were burning and her nose was getting cold.

Around the corner from the theater Rachel had seen a gas station with a Payphone. She didn't have any change but knew she could call collect.

Shelby's cell phone rang and an unfamiliar number came across the caller ID. Gut instinct told her to answer the phone and that's what Shelby did. She almost hung up at the sound of the automated answering service but when she heard Rachel's voice, Shelby accepted the call.

"Rachel?" Shelby was confused as to why Rachel was calling collect and nit from Judy or Maribel's phone but was happy to accept the charges and speak to her daughter. She was currently in her office, taking a moment to herself to wind down before VA took the stage in a little over an hour.

"I don't want to spend the night at your house tomorrow." Rachel blurted. "I don't want too spend time with you at all."

"Rachel?" Shelby asked, sitting forward in her chair. Something wasn't right. Rachel had been looking forward to this for weeks.

Rachel sniffled a couple times into the phone and wiped the tears that streamed down her face.

"Baby, talk to me." Shelby begged.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep fooling myself with dreams and fantasies of us being together. I'm not saying goodbye forever, just until I'm away from my dads."

"What are they doing to you Rachel? You can tell me, I can help you."

"You can't help me." Rachel said, feeling rain drops falling on her. "No one can help me."

"Are they hurting you Rachel?" Shelby asked. "Have they-have they ever hit you?"

"No" But sometimes she wished they were. Bruises, broken bones those would be harder for the dads to cover up. The court would believe her then.

"Please, Rachel, just talk to me."

"I have to go." Rachel said. "Bye Mama."

"Rach, don't hang-" Shelby said but was cut off by the dead dial tone. She hung up her phone and began to cry, not caring about keeping her make up perfect.

Shelby wished she knew how to get Rachel to open up. In the months they had been sneaking around, Shelby had tried many times to get Rachel to talk but the girl was stubborn. She'd change the subject, give simple answers, or would out right tell Shelby she didn't want to talk about it.

Shelby cleaned up her face, applying a new layer of make up and headed to the choir room, where her team was preparing to go on stage in ten minutes. She walked around, making sure everyone was properly dressed and the girls' hair was done the way she had instructed. Shelby led the group backstage and dished out last minute demands, reminders, and good lucks.

During Vocal Adrenaline's performance, Shelby's phone vibrated in her pocket. Stepping away from the side wing of the stage, Shelby answered Maribel Lopez's call.

"Hello, this is Shelby."

"Shelby, it's Maribel. Look I know you've got your sectionals competition today and I don't mean to bother you."

"It's no trouble really. How can I help you?"

"I wouldn't be calling if it wasn't serious."

"Is Rachel okay?" Shelby asked, concerned.

"I don't think so, I mean she was acting weird all day and then she stormed out of the hotel and was giving Judy a bit of a hard time. I didn't think it was too serious and figured she'd come around."

"Maribel? Is Rachel okay?" Shelby pushed the woman for an answer.

"We can't find her."

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Shelby shouted.

"Will let the kids wander around for a half hour but Rachel never came back. She was suppose to be back here an hour and a half ago. New Directions is going on in five and Rachel is now where to be found."

"Have you tried calling her?"

"Hiram and Leroy didn't let her bring her phone this weekend."

"Fuck!" Shelby whispered. "Um, maybe she'll show up before the performance. She might have given her parts away but glee is still her life. If she doesn't show up by the time New Directions is done, call me."

"Will do."

Shelby hung up her phone and waited for her team to end their performance. Getting the rowdy kids into the choir room, Shelby left her male lead, Jesse St. James in charge for a few minutes. Getting Carmel's principal to take over for the rest if the evening, Shelby ran into her office and grabbed her extra set of clothes and pajamas she kept in her desk for late nights. Shoving the items in her purse, Shelby hurried out of the building and into her car. Before pulling out of the parking lot, Shelby fired off two texts to Judy and Maribel asking if Rachel had appeared. As she feared, both women replied with a no.

Where the hell was her kid?


	4. Someday

Shelby's two and a half hour drive from Akron to Findlay seemed to last three times as long and her heart sank when she arrived and learned Rachel had yet to return to the hotel. Will had gone with the rest of the kids to celebrate their victory and to keep an eye out for Rachel. Before he left, he told Shelby he'd be calling Hiram and Leroy at midnight if Rachel didn't come back by then. However, Shelby told Will that because she was Rachel's mom, a parent had technically been notified. He made it very clear to Shelby that if Rachel wasn't found by six am, he'd have to call the police and her fathers. Shelby was grateful to have been given the extension and hoped her daughter would be found way before then.

Maribel stayed behind at the hotel, while Shelby and Judy split up to search the town. The three women grilled Santana and Quinn for nearly an hour on the whereabouts of their friend but neither one knew where Rachel had gone too after leaving the green room, no one in the glee club knew where Rachel was.

It was now one in the morning and Shelby was exhausted and hungry. She thought about stopping to get something to eat but she kept going, not wanting to waste precious time. She was also worried that Rachel was hungry and tired as well and would feel guilty to be eating when her child might not have the funds to eat. Pulling into the parking area of the last park in the town, Shelby was running out of ideas of where to look. She took her mittens and hat off the warm dashboard, slipping them on before getting out of the car. Using her phone as a flashlight, Shelby began her search for Rachel. Though it was hard not to think negatively, Shelby prayed she'd find her baby girl safe and sound.

Maribel stepped out of the elevator at one thirty, coming back from checking on Quinn and Santana, who were trying their best to stay awake. Even though their moms made it very clear they were to go to bed, the girls were awake, just barely, and were waiting to hear that Rachel was back. By the fifth trip to the sixth floor hotel room, Maribel gave up on forcing the girls to go to sleep but told them they weren't allowed to leave the room, knowing neither one was going to fall asleep without putting up a fight. And the mom knew it was only a matter of minutes before both girls would be asleep anyway, especially Santana, who had been rubbing her eyes most of the ten minutes Maribel had spent in the room. As she turned the corner to the lobby, she nearly ran into a nearly frozen Rachel. The girl had been gone for close to eight hours wearing only a dress, nude colored tights, her dress shoes, and her just above the knee sectional's dress. She didn't have a hat, scarf, or mittens.

"Where the hell have you been?" Maribel asked, taking a very strong hold of Rachel's arm. "You're freezing!"

"I don't want to do this right now." Rachel said, her teeth chattering just slightly. She was starving, freezing, but most of all, hungry. "I don't want to talk you."

"I am the least of your concern right now." Maribel said, pulling Rachel to the elevator.

"I bet Mr. Shuester is pissed." Rachel said and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Did he call my dads?"

"No." Maribel answered. "He was going to but we talked him into giving us till morning to find you."

By we, Rachel assumed that meant Judy and Maribel. Unless Shelby found Rachel first, she didn't want Rachel to know she was in town and looking for her. She was afraid Rachel would take off again before she arrived back to the hotel.

"Well, I'm back." Rachel said.

The elevator doors opened and Maribel walked Rachel to the hotel room, telling her to keep her voice down in case the girls were sleeping. Maribel had been right about Santana and Quinn being a sleep within minutes of her leaving. She told Rachel to quietly get some pajamas from her bags while she started a hot shower for Rachel. And when Rachel slipped into the bathroom to warm up under the hot stream of water, Maribel went into the hallway and called Judy first, alerting her that Rachel showed up. Then she called Shelby.

"Mari, is she there? Is she okay?"

"She's here. Cold as an ice cube but here." Maribel said, relieved to be giving Shelby good news about her daughter.

"Thank god." Shelby replied with tears welling up in her eyes. She began to cry and thanked god over and over again.

"I have her in the shower to warm her up."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." Shelby said and thanked Maribel for her help.

Judy and Shelby returned to the hotel at the same time, the older blonde had two sacks of food with her she picked up on the way back. Judy could see Shelby was an emotional wreck as the brunette had cried many times during her search and sobbed pretty much the entire drive from the park to the hotel. She placed the food bags on a table in the lobby and wrapped her arms around Shelby. The action caused Shelby to break down into a fresh round of body shaking sobs.

"I was starting to think we'd never find her, that someone kidnapped her or something. I tried to be positive but I couldn't stop thinking about everything that could have happened to her. I barely have her now and I can't handle losing what I do have. She's my baby."

"Shhh. It's alright, your baby is upstairs safe and sound. It's all okay now." Judy rocked Shelby as she continued to cry.

"I can't thank you and Maribel enough for what you've done. Not just for tonight but for the past seven years."

"There's no need to thank us. We love rachel as if she was our own." Judy smiled at Shelby's grumbling tummy. "Why don't you go fetch Rachel, I'm sure she is done with her shower and is starving too, and take her to your room. I am sure you two have some things to discuss."

"Thanks again, I'll pay you back for-"

"-you will not. The food is on me."

Shelby knew better than to argue with Judy and thanked the woman one more time before walking with her to the elevator. Together they entered the room and Maribel sat down with Judy at the small two person table and quietly began to eat their burgers from the bar two streets over. The bathroom was still being occupied by Rachel and Shelby knocked on the door, making sure to not wake up the sleeping teens just feet away.

"I'll be right out." Rachel softly said, not quite interested in having Maribel and Judy gang up on her with their maternal lectures.

Shelby heard the door unlock and she stepped back to allow room for the door to open. Rachel was shocked her mom was standing in the hotel room and her bottom lip trembled. In a quick second, Shelby had her arms around Rachel, holding her close.

"You have no idea how worried I was." Shelby sternly whispered in Rachel's wet hair. "But I am so glad you're safe." She pushed Rachel back a little so she could look at her daughter. "We are going to have a long talk, young lady."

"I'm sorry." Rachel replied. Aside from a few light scolds, Rachel had not ever been in trouble with her mom and didn't know what I expect. Even when she was four, Rachel had not been in an ounce of trouble with her mom.

"You need to go over to Maribel and Judy and apologize to them. They've been just as worried as I have and have been waiting up all night waiting for you to come back. Judy was even out looking for you." Shelby pushed Rachel in the direction of her friends' mothers.

Shelby stood by the door and watched as Rachel apologized to each woman. Judy got up and hugged Rachel tightly, bringing one hand down to strike the girl's bottom. Even Shelby's bottom tensed at the sound. Maribel gave Rachel her own hug and swat, letting the girl go to her mom with a second swat to her rear. As Rachel walked over to Shelby, she tried to rub the sting from her backside.

Three swats and Rachel was already reaching back, what a light weight. Shelby chuckled to herself.

Judy informed Shelby that she had texted Will to let him know Rachel was alright and back in the room. Shelby nodded and thanked the women again.

"Come along Rachel." Shelby said, opening the door.

"Where are we going?" Rachel asked.

"My room, two floors up." Shelby said as they stepped into the hall.

Once inside Shelby's room, Rachel was sat down and given her cheeseburger and fries, one of her new favorite foods. Shelby sat down and began to eat her own burger, noticing Rachel was taking double bites and cramming fries into her mouth.

"Slow down, you're going to make yourself sick." Shelby gently scolded and told Rachel to take decent bites.

"I'm just so hungry." Rachel blushed.

"That's what happens when you are wandering around a strange city for eight hours." Shelby said, grabbing two waters from the mini fridge. "What were you thinking?"

"I just didn't want to go to sectionals."

"So you thought it would be better to disappear for hours?"

"I don't know." Rachel bowed her head.

"Do you know what could have happened to you? And don't even get me started on you only having on a dress and a sweater. Your actions today were very dangerous."

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispered.

"Why did you do it? Why did you skip on sectionals?" Shelby asked.

"You weren't there." Rachel answered. "Quinn and Santana were getting all done up by their moms, joking around, and having fun. I wanted that too but I couldn't have that. When I left the theater I was going to call you and go back but then I decided it was okay if I didn't return."

"Why would you think that would be okay?"

"No one would notice or miss me."

"Clearly that is not true. Everyone was worried about you. Especially the Fabray's and Lopez's, Quinn and Santana were scared out of their minds, afraid something bad happened. Your friends were, at one point, in tears because they didn't know where to find you. You need to say you're sorry to them too." Shelby told her. "I know you wanted me to be here for the performance and we both know why I couldn't be here but that's no excuse for your behavior."

"I know."

"And if I ever get another call because you can't be found, Rachel look at me." The girl did as she was told, raising her head instantly. "I will drop whatever I am doing, hunt you down and pull you over my knee. You won't be able to walk for a week when I am through with you."

"You spank?" Rachel asked.

"I don't see why that matters, you said you didn't want to see me anymore." Shelby said, using that to jump to the next topic. "Care to explain what that was about?"

"If I can't have you full time, I didn't want to keep teasing myself that we will be together."

"Rach, I know things are difficult right now but you know that there isn't anything I can do when you won't open up to me. You don't have to tell me everything but please, give me something. Anything."

"There'a noth-"

"-No, I will not accept nothing as an answer. There is something going on because you're not the same. You look like you haven't slept in weeks."

"I've been up since six." Rachel said, giving Shelby an excuse.

"It's not just from one night. Santana said you've looked this way for a week. Quinn agreed too. And what about your sectionals parts? You love to sing and dance, why did you give them to Tina?"

"I was tired and didn't think I'd do a good job." Rachel finally said. "Between cheer, school, and hiding my relationship with you and being a part of glee, it was becoming too much. I needed a small break."

"You're doing a lot and I'm sorry it has to be this way." Shelby reached across the table and placed a comforting hand on Rachel's. "But you're doing an amazing job and I am so proud of you."

"How can you be proud of me? After what I said you on the phone, you should hate me or at least be upset with me. I hurt your feelings."

"It hurt." Shelby nodded. "And I cried a lot because I was worried you would stop going to dinners with me. I also cried because I know something is going on with you and I felt that maybe you couldn't trust me enough to tell me. I promised you when you were four that I wouldn't let them keep us apart for long but I broke that promise and I understand if you can't trust me that I'll get you back."

As Shelby spoke, tears spilled over her cheeks.

"Oh, Mama." Rachel tearfully cried out and jumped up from her chair and pushed herself into Shelby's lap. "I trust you. It's the judges and cops I don't trust. They made you give me back."

Shelby leaned back in the chair, kissing Rachel's head. "Please talk to me, baby." Shelby pleaded. "Don't shut me out anymore."

"C-can we talk tomorrow? I could really use some sleep." Rachel asked.

She was full and now fighting to keep from yawning. Her eyes were starting to burn.

"Please Mama, I'll tell you things later."

"Okay." Shelby agreed. She could use some sleep too. "I need to change into my pajamas first. Throw away the trash from our food, please."

"Yes, mama."

Shelby stood the pair up, giving Rachel one more kiss on the head before she gathered the clothes on the bed and went into the bathroom. She emerged minutes later, finding Rachel sprawled out on the bed. It had been weeks since she slept on a real bed and it felt as wonderful as getting to wash her hair, maybe even better. Though neither one topped getting to be with her mom for an extra night. Shelby thought Rachel was asleep and gently tried to get the teen under the blankets. She was surprised when Rachel opened her eyes and got under the covers. Shelby tucked the blankets around Rachel and kissed her cheek.

"You said you'd hold me at night this weekend." Rachel said, rubbing her blurring eyes. "You promised."

"I only promised one night." Shelby teased.

"Mama." Rachel whined, knowing her mom was messing with her. "Please?"

"I'm kidding, baby. Of course I'll hold you, I just need to set the alarm clock."

Rachel watched as her mom fiddled with the alarm and rolled to her side, with her back facing Shelby when the woman was done and had turned off all the got in the bed and Rachel waited for Shelby to get comfortable before she scooted back, melting into her mom. One of Shelby's arms went under Rachel's head and the other was wrapped around Rachel's stomach.

"Will you sing to me?" Rachel asked. Even though she could more than manage to fall asleep on her own, she still wanted to hear Shelby sing her to sleep.

"Sure." Shelby whispered.

_You can go_  
_ You can start all over again_  
_ You can try to find a way to make another day go by_  
_ You can hide_  
_ Hold all your feelings inside_  
_ You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry_

_And maybe someday_  
_ We'll figure all this out_  
_ Try to put an end to all our doubt_  
_ Try to find a way to make things better now and_  
_ Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud_  
_ We'll be better off somehow_  
_ Someday_

_Cause sometimes we don't really notice_  
_ Just how good it can get_  
_ So maybe we should start all over_  
_ Start all over again_

The lyrics hung in the air with Rachel choked up and trying to keep herself together. Shelby could feel Rachel's silent sobs and held onto her tighter. She gently hummed a softer lullaby, helping Rachel fall asleep and Shelby followed not long after.

Hours later, Rachel woke up to Shelby gently kissing her cheek and whispering in her ear. It was much much better than being woken up by a stupid alarm clock or the yelling of her fathers. She smiled and rolled over to face her mom, laying her head on Shelby's lap as she tried to fully wake up.

"How'd you sleep?" Shelby asked, running her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"Perfectly." She yawned. It had been the best night of sleep Rachel had in months.

"Good." Shelby leaned down and kissed Rachel's head. "Why don't you hop in the shower while I get you a change of clothes and then we will go down and get some breakfast."

"Okay." Rachel nodded but made no move to get up.

Shelby chuckled and got up, walking to the door. She had gotten up with the alarm clock and showered and changed before she woke up Rachel. The bus would be leaving in two hours and Shelby wanted Rachel to eat beforehand. She opened the door and told Rachel she had better find the girl in the shower by the time she got back with her clothes. Rachel mumbled a yes ma'am but still didn't move. She had taken a shower last night and didn't feel like taking another one. Plus with spending the night at Shelby's she'd be able to take one before she had to go home. Hopefully. So she snuggled into the bed, hugging the comforter around her and waited for Shelby to return. Minutes later, someone knocked on the door, making Rachel get out of bed before she was ready too.

Why didn't her mother take the freaking key card!?

"Man-hands! What the fuck!?" Quinn exclaimed pushing her way into the room as soon as Rachel opened the door.

"Good morning to you too." Rachel rolled her eyes, sitting on the bed.

"Where the hell were you last night?" Santana asked as the two joined Rachel on the Queen sized bed.

"Around." Rachel shrugged. "Went to a few stores, sat in a cafe for a few hours, went to the park and walked on the iced over lake. Just did whatever I wanted too and it felt great. There was no one dictating my every move or stopping me from having fun. I was free."

"Does this mean you've told Shelby or are going to tell Shelby?" Quinn asked.

"I'll tell her a little bit." Rachel answered.

"It's a start." Santana smiled.

"Yeah." Rachel returned the smile. "It's a start."

The girls stopped talking as Shelby used the card to open the door, her hands full with Rachel's bag. She tossed the suitcase on the floor by the door and set the card on top of the television.

"Girls, your moms would like you to return to the room and finish packing your things." Shelby said.

"Ugh. I hate packing." Santana groaned.

"Yes, it's so horrible." Shelby rolled her eyes and closed the door behind the two. Turning to face Rachel, she picked up the bag and placed it on the bed.

"I don't wanna take a shower." Rachel complained.

"Well you don't have too. Maribel told me you took one before you left the hotel yesterday. I was only making you take one because I thought the only shower you had yesterday was the one she made you take to get warmed up."

"Can I take one at your house?" Rachel softly asked.

"Of course you can."

"Cool. Thanks. I just wanted to be sure or else I would have taken a quick one here."

Shelby wanted to ask Rachel why she felt she would have said no to the shower but thought against it. She was just looking for something to use against the Berry men, she figured. Shelby told her it would be fine to take one at her house and passed Rachel a set of clothes from her bag. Upon further inspection of the clothes, Shelby was disgusted. There had been many times as a teen that Shelby had plucked a tee or a pair of jeans from the dirty clothes hamper and wore them to school but she made sure there wasn't stains. Rachel's clothes were filthy.

"I need the sweater that's in there." Rachel said, nervous that her mother had noticed the state of her clothing. She went into the bathroom and changes her clothes, using her sweater to hide the stains on he shirt and combed her hair with her fingers to hide the single stain on her sweater.

"Rach?" Shelby said when the bathroom door opened.

"Yeah?" She replied, twisting a lock of her hair around her finger. It was a nervous habit.

"I'm gonna put my clothes in your bag, okay?"

"Uh, sure." Rachel agreed.

"Thanks." Shelby said, stuffing her clothes from yesterday and her pajamas into the bag. "Quinn and Santana didn't have much packing left to do, how about you go see if they need help and then the three of you can go get some breakfast?"

"What about you?" Rachel asked.

"I need to do my hair and makeup, I'll meet you down in the dining hall."

"I can wait." Rachel said.

Shelby took a moment to come with a reason to get Rachel out of the room. "I'd like you to go and see if they need any help. You stayed in the room too and it's only fair that you help out. Now go and I will see you in a bit."

"But Mama." Rachel whined as Shelby walked her to the door.

"It won't take long." Shelby said, sending the girl on her way. As soon as the door was shut, Shelby grabbed her cell off the night table. "Hey Judy, I just sent Rachel your way to help the girls pack, could you come here for a moment? I need a favor."

"Sure, I'll be right there."

"Great and please don't let the girls know you're coming up here."

"Alright." Judy answered, confused.

Judy hung up her phone and excused herself from the room. She didn't see Rachel on her way down and was curious as to what Shelby needed. She knocked twice and the heavy wooden door opened moments later.

"Thanks for coming up here."

"It's no trouble, what do you need?"

"I was getting Rachel a set of clothes from her bag when I noticed everything was dirty. Like really dirty." Shelby said as she opened the bag and started pulling out Rachel's clothing. "I mean they clearly haven't been washed in a long time. Her bra and underwear have holes and just need to be thrown away. I don't understand why she'd pack these things. It's not like her."

"Strange." Judy said, staring at the clothes.

"I would use my own phone to take a picture but I think it would be best to for you to take the picture. As a witness." Shelby said.

She was worried if she took the pictures and then they were later used in court, Hiram and Leroy would say she set them up. Judy having taken the pictures could save a lot of drama.

"Okay." Judy said, taking pictures of Rachel's things with her phone.

"Thanks." Shelby repacked the bag again and met Rachel downstairs for breakfast. The three teenagers were sitting at a table, waiting for their moms and were talking amongst themselves. She noticed Rachel shoving somethings into Quinn's purse and Shelby sat down between the wall and Rachel, ignoring Rachel's action for the time being. "You girls get everything packed?"

"Yeah, my mom is outside loading it onto the bus." Santana said, pointing out the large windows of the front of the hotel.

"Rachel, I am going to take the bag out to the bus, get some breakfast." After looking around at what the other glee kids were eating, she looked back at Rachel. "And I want you to eat more than just cereal."

"I will." Rachel rolled her eyes.

Shelby narrowed her eyes and two bodies shrunk back in their seats, neither one was Rachel. The seemingly oblivious girl got up from the table and made her way over to the food. Shelby sent Santana and Quinn to follow Rachel, as there wasn't a lot of time before the bus was leaving. Shelby walked out of the hotel and out to the bus, tossing Rachel's bag into the side storage compartment, then walked up to Will.

"Hello Shelby."

"Hi." Shelby smiled to the curly haired man. "I am going to have Rachel talk to you but I wanted to apologize on her behalf as well for last night and she will be accepting whatever punishment you see fit."

"I think two days of lunch detention will be enough." Will said.

"Wonderful. I also wanted to thank you for letting me handle this and not her fathers."

"Well, once you explained the phone call between you and Rachel, I figured it would be best that her mother take care of it."

"Thank you, again. And might I ask a favor of you?"

"Sure."

"You're the only adult, besides her fathers, who is constantly around Rachel and may have noticed some changes in her."

"Yeah. Yeah, I definitely have." Will nodded.

"Could you just jot down the changes? I'm in the very early stages of trying to get custody of Rachel but I need evidence against the men."

"Of course. I'd be more than willing too." Will said. "I could even speak to our school counselor, Emma Pillsbury, and have her set up a meeting with Rachel."

"That would be great." Shelby exclaimed.

"I will make sure to do that first thing, Monday morning."

"Thank you."

Meanwhile, inside the hotel, Santana and Quinn walked up behind Rachel, each grabbing a tray from the stack. After Rachel placed toast, orange juice, scrambled eggs, and a bowl of Lucky Charms and soy milk on her tray, she went back to the table and slowly began to eat while she waited for everyone else.

"Okay, Midget, we need to talk." Santana said, being the second person to return to the table.

"About what?"

"How to not get yourself killed." Santana replied. "I know you've been around your mom a few times over the past few months and know that it's not good when she glares at you."

"Right." Rachel said.

"But ignoring the glare is not good." Santana informed her. "Even I know that's when you shut up and do as told. Adding an I'm sorry can sometimes help too."

"I don't think ignoring her glare is as big of a deal as you are making it." Rachel said. "I mean I asked last night if she spanked but she never answered. She's lectured me but I think that's all she'll do."

"Oh to be so naive." Shelby muttered to herself as she walked past the table, catching the last part of Rachel's comment.

"What's that suppose to mean?" Rachel's head perked up. Shelby only shrugged her shoulders and kept walking to the food bar.

"That, Midget, means she has no problem taking you over her knee."

"Surly you're mistaking." Rachel's eyes widened. She has never be spanked before in her life.

"Nope and if I were you, I'd make sure never to make her mad enough to do so. Especially with the stories we've heard about her as a coach."

Shelby turned around just in time to see Rachel's face drop. As she sat down next to her daughter, Shelby smirked.

* * *

**A/N: The song is called Someday by Rob Thomas.**


	5. Keep Holding On

**Hey guys, sorry for not updating in forever :( I have just not had much time between preparing to move out of state and not feeling well. I cannot promise another update this week for any of my stories but I will try and do some more writing.**

* * *

Rachel turned in her seat, getting on her knees to stare out the back window. This time she had opted to sit in the far back with Quinn and Santana in front of her on the way back to Lima. Shelby was still following behind the bus and Rachel smiled, waving to her mom. They were only fifteen minutes away from McKinley and Rachel's excitement for spending the night at her mom's was quickly rebuilding and she couldn't contain herself much more. Shelby waved back and then motioned for her child to sit back down properly, the same motion she had made to Rachel over ten times on the trip. The last thing she wanted was for the bus driver to have to hit his brakes and then watch her daughter go flying. She shuttered at the image in her head.

As soon as the bus and car came to a stop behind the school, Rachel got out and grabbed her bag from the side of the bus, then bolted to her mom's car. Shelby got out of the car and shut the door, using her hand to tell Rachel to go back over to the bus.

"You need to help the others empty the bus." Shelby said.

"Mama." Rachel whined, dropping her bag next to the Range Rover. "There's plenty of people to help, they don't need me."

"You are helping, I don't care how many people there are. March." Shelby pointed to the bus, giving Rachel a looking telling her she was dead serious.

"This isn't fair." Rachel folded her arms.

"What's not fair is you complaining, when everyone else is doing their work." Shelby handed Rachel several of the hung up dresses. "It's not going to kill you to do a little bit of work for ten minutes."

"You never know!" Rachel exclaimed. "I could drop dead from the child labor you are subjecting me too!"

Rachel spun on her heel and stomped her way to the side door that was just feet away from the choir room. Shelby shook her head, collecting several dresses of her own and began to walk them inside. Judy, who was coming out of the school to get another load from the bus, stopped Shelby from going inside.

"In case you want to know, your daughter thinks you are being mean and unreasonable. She should not have to do any work seeing as she didn't even perform."

"Is that so?" Shelby raised her brow. "Well I guess I will have to show Miss Rachel just how mean and unreasonable I can be."

Judy laughed and patted Shelby's shoulder. Quinn was a lot to handle but Rachel, that girl was another story. Shelby was gonna have her hands full with this one. Shelby stepped into the choir room, using her child's loud mouth as a guide to find the room and cleared her throat when she walked in, effectively ending the rant Rachel was currently carrying on.

"Can we go now?" Rachel rudely said.

"The bus is only half empty." Shelby shook her head no. "Go get more stuff."

"I don't want too and I shouldn't have too. I didn't even go to sectionals." Rachel stomped her foot.

"Will?" Shelby said to the curly haired man in the corner of the room. "You may send everyone else home, Rachel will be unloading the rest of the bus herself."

"What!" Rachel exploded.

"Everyone can go." Shelby said to Will and the man left the room to dismiss everyone else. She turned to Rachel who was fuming. "I suggest you drop the attitude and go finish unloading the bus."

"This is crazy! I shouldn't have to do this all by myself."

"No one else was complaining Rachel. You were the only one." Shelby said. "Out of everyone here, it's you who should be the last one to be complaining. You abandoned them at the last possible minute, leaving them one person down."

"All I was doing was swaying in the background anyway." Rachel crossed her arms.

"Whether you are front and center or swaying in the background, you are apart of a team. And you let your team down."

"But we won." Rachel shrugged.

"Correction; They won. Without your help." Shelby said. "And you should be very thankful that none of them are mad at you for ditching them."

"I was upset."

"They didn't know that. If you didn't want too perform, you could have told them and given them a heads up. I know you weren't up for performing but the way you went about it was not right. And for you to be complaining for having to help unload a few things from the bus, is completely not right. Now I want you to go back outside and get more stuff off the bus. While you are out there, I want you to apologize to any and all of your glee club members who are still here. The rest I expect you to apologize to on Monday."

"That's-"

"Rachel the only thing that should come out of your mouth at this moment should be yes ma'am."

"Yes." Rachel replied.

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, ma'am." Rachel replied softly.

"Good girl." Shelby said, taking two steps to Rachel so she could kiss her forehead. "Let's get this done, okay?"

"Yeah." Rachel nodded, leaning slightly into her mother.

Shelby was content with staying the way they were forever but they couldn't. Rachel needed to finish unpacking the bus so they could leave. Shelby kissed Rachel's forehead once more and they returned outside with Shelby handing Rachel more things to take into the school after she had apologized to Artie and Tina as they were the only two left waiting for a ride. Judy sent Quinn with her own armful of things as Quinn thought it would be funny to laugh at Rachel for getting in trouble, so she earned herself the privilege to help. Within five minutes the girls were done and Shelby had Rachel help with carrying Quinn and Judy's bags to their car.

As the girls passed by Shelby's car to go to Judy's, Rachel picked up her bag. Shelby noticed this and paid close attention but was too far away to see what Quinn was taking out of her purse and putting into Rachel's bag. She did know it was the same items Rachel had shoved into the purse during breakfast.

Shelby and Rachel said goodbye to Quinn and Judy, then got into their own car. Rachel buckled her seat belt, leaning back into her seat. As Shelby drove to her house, both girls were scanning the streets and passing cars, keeping an eye out for Hiram or Leroy. Rachel's knee was bouncing rapidly beside Shelby and the older woman also saw that Rachel's hands were trembling as well. She reached over and placed a hand on Rachel's, gently stroking her thumb over the top of her hand.

"How are you not scared?" Rachel asked, her eyes trained on the cars beside her.

"I am." Shelby softly said, tightening her hold on Rachel's hand. "Believe me, I am."

Minutes later, Shelby pulled the car into the driveway and the two quickly made their way into the house. As Rachel stomped her feet to rid her shoes of the snow, Rachel scanned the front hallway. So far it all looked the same as it had when she was four, except now there were new pictures on the walls. Some were of New York City but most were Rachel when she was four and a few were recent ones of Rachel from the past few months.

"It has hardly changed." Rachel said, loving the safe and familiar surroundings. After taking off their shoes and hanging up their jackets, Shelby led Rachel into the kitchen and Rachel saw that there was new cabinets and stainless steel appliances. It was still the same layout as before but now it was upgraded. On the counter top, Rachel grinned when she saw the pig shaped gumball dispenser. "Oinks!"

"You remember?" Shelby asked, surprised by how great Rachel's memory was.

"How could I forget? I raided this thing twenty times a day when I was staying with you." Rachel said, picking up the gumball dispenser. To get a gumball, you had to twist the pig's tail and it would oink before spitting out a gumball. "I figured out that if I held my hand under his belly, it silenced the oinking noise and I could get a gumball without you knowing. And then when it would start becoming lighter, I would refill it with the gumballs you had stashed up in this cabinet." Rachel opened the door above her head and squealed with delight when she found the jar of gum. "It's still in the same spot!"

"I am _so_ hiding that jar in a new spot." Shelby shook her head with a laugh. "And I am going to have to weigh Oinks everyday to make sure you aren't eating too many pieces of gum."

"It's fine I don't like gum so much now anyway." Rachel fibbed. "As long as you keep the Twizzlers in the same place, I'm good."

"I don't keep the Twizzlers in the same place." Shelby said but Rachel saw right through her.

Going over to the cupcake shaped cookie jar, Rachel lifted the lid revealing Shelby's supply of Twizzlers. "You liar!" Rachel said, taking five of the licorice ropes.

"Hey, hey. Only one." Shelby said, taking four away.

"Oh, come on. You let me have only one when I was four. Now that I'm older you should let me have two."

"Actually, I only allowed you half of one so letting you have a whole one is a step up."

"You only let me have half?" Rachel scrunched her nose and then giggled when she realized Shelby was right. "Oh yeah, you did only let me have half but I would steal the second half in the middle of the night."

"Rachel!" Shelby exclaimed and here she was claiming her child had been an angel the entire time she was living with her. "Well you can only have one. I will be counting them."

"Poopy head." Rachel stuck her tongue out at her mom.

"Seriously! How do you remember all of these things?" Shelby asked. It took two weeks for Shelby to break Rachel of calling her poopy head and sticking her tongue out at Shelby. Rachel had learned it from a TV show she was watching one day with Shelby. After that, Shelby limited Rachel's television usage.

Rachel smiled at her mom but it slowly turned into a frown. They way the two were talking dawned on Rachel. Each were speaking as if Rachel wasn't leaving the next day but was instead moving in. Tomorrow morning, Rachel would be returning to her dads' house and this would be just another memory of her mother etched into her mind. Shelby watched as Rachel's smile faded and a saddened look took over. She knew exactly what Rachel was thinking in that very moment.

"Maybe now it's a good time for us to talk." Shelby suggested and led Rachel into the livingroom, sitting them down on the couch. "Rachel, I've been speaking to a lawyer off and on since you left when you were four. I haven't had anything substantial to use against your fathers to get my rights reinstated or to get custody of you. I need proof that your fathers aren't fit to take care of you. Kicking you out of glee to keep us apart isn't going to get a judge to give me custody. Judy and Maribel are going to write statements to the court explaining the changes they have seen in you, I have even asked Mr. Shuester to do the same especially since he is most consistent in your life. With those three letters, it's not going to be enough. You are going to have to talk to me, my lawyer, and you're most likely going to have to stand up in court and share the things your dads have done to you."

"They're not abusing me." Rachel said. "Nothing I say is going to be enough."

"I'm gonna ask you a few questions, will you answer them for me?" Shelby asked. Rachel thought for a moment and nodded. "Since you've left my home, have either of your dads locked you out of the house again?"

"Yes." Rachel softly said.

"How many times?"

"More than six times." Rachel guessed.

"When you get in trouble for something, how do they punish you?" Shelby asked.

"I get stuff taken away." Rachel vaguely said. "Mama, it's not gonna work. It's not enough, just like I told you."

Shelby knew Rachel was right, especially since there was no proof of Rachel being left outside all those times. She also knew there was more than Rachel was willing to let on and she didn't know how to get Rachel to open up more to her. Rachel was aware her silence was frustrating to Shelby but the mom just wouldn't understand and would run off and tell her lawyer everything. Her dads would put her room back to normal and act as if they were the worlds greatest fathers. It was all so complicated for Rachel. She wanted so badly to tell her mom that her dads have taken everything but a few changes of clothes and that she was quickly running out of the necessities but over the years, Hiram and Leroy have built a tight grasp on their daughter that keeps her from saying anything. Shelby was starting to see she wasn't going to get much out of Rachel and she shouldn't have gotten her hopes up when Rachel said she was going to tell her some things the night before.

"Okay, look why don't we go up to your room and then maybe watch a movie?" Shelby suggested.

"Yeah." Rachel nodded.

Shelby led Rachel up the stairs and into the bedroom the girl once occupied. Rachel knew Shelby would want to talk about this all again at some point before she had to go to Santana's the next morning but for now she just wanted to go up to her old room. Side stepping her mother, Rachel hurried through the hallway and went right into her old bedroom.

The soft pink walls were still the same, except the Sesame Street and puppy posters were gone. The toddler bed had been upgraded to a full sized bed and the toys were stacked in bins in the closet instead of in the toy box, which had been repainted from pink and purple strips to all white. It now sat at the end of the bed, holding extra sheets, a pillow and blanket.

"I changed your room quite a bit through out the years." Shelby said. "I changed it every few years am recently added my old Broadway posters that were in my room when I was your age. We can change anything you don't like."

"It's perfect." Rachel breathed out, sitting in the bed.

Her bed.

"Mama?" Rachel whispered, running her hands along the quilt that was tightly tucked around the bed. "You never forgot about me, huh? You always wanted me? And wanted to me my Mama?"

"Always." Shelby replied, her own voice not much louder than Rachel's.

"Even after I was born and you gave me away?"

Shelby's throat got tight, just like her chest. She managed to take several breaths, gaining control of the shaky voice that threatened to spill out the moment she opened her mouth. Kneeling beside Rachel, Shelby took of her daughter's hands in hers.

"I wanted you so badly, even then." Shelby said, reaching her hand up to brush away Rachel's tears. "From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I wanted you. I guess that's why your dads decided that they needed to draw up the contract."

"What do you mean?"

"When I first met your dads to interview as a potential surrogate, the plan was they were going to pay a doctor to take my egg and transfer it into another woman so she could carry the baby. That way I wouldn't form an emotional bond with you." Shelby said, sitting on the bed. "Then after awhile, your dads changed their minds and wanted me to carry the baby as well. I couldn't help but become attached to you, Rachel. They saw that and well, that's when the contract came in."

"It's not fair." Rachel sighed but glanced up to look in her mother's eyes. "But I am glad that you've been able to somewhat be there for me these past few months. It's better than not having you at all."

"I'm glad too." Shelby leaned forward to kiss Rachel's head.

After a half hour of talking, Shelby left the room for a moment to get Rachel's suitcase while Rachel took a deeper tour of her bedroom. Sitting the suitcase on the kitchen table, Shelby grabbed a pair of pajama pants and a tank top for Rachel to change into. The clothes were dirty and there was a sticky substance on the tank top, that was now coating Shelby's hand. Dropping the clothes back into suitcase, Shelby noticed the handfuls of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash travel sized bottles in the bag. Shelby wasn't a stranger to helping herself to the hotel toiletries but this was crazy. After sorting through the bag, Shelby counted thirty bottles. She took all the clothes out of the bag and walked them down to the basement where the laundry room was. Returning upstairs after starting the washer, Shelby put the toiletries into the suitcase and carried it up to her bedroom so she could get Rachel a change of clothes.

"Here's some clothes you can borrow." Shelby said, handing Rachel the blue tank top and white fleece shorts. "I tossed yours in the washer."

"Thanks." Rachel smiled, taking the clothes. "You didn't have to do that."

"It's no biggie." Shelby said, placing the suitcase on the bed. "When you finish changing, I wanna talk about the bottles of shampoo and stuff that I found in your bag."

"It's nothing." Rachel shrugged.

"I don't agree with that."

"It's nothing, okay!?" Rachel shouted.

She stormed past Shelby, feeling extremely guilty for blowing up but she was too stubborn to turn around and apologize. Shutting the bathroom door, she locked it and sat down on the edge of the tub. After a moment, Rachel changed her clothes and walked out of the bathroom. Shelby was still in Rachel's room, sitting on the bed and waiting for Rachel to return.

"I know there is some reason as to why you have all of these and if you don't want to tell me, I won't push." Shelby said. She pushed the bag underneath the bed and stood up, wrapping Rachel in a hug. "Just remember you can always talk to me about anything."

"I know." Rachel whispered.

Minutes later, the two were settled in Shelby's bed with a movie Rachel picked. Funny Girl of course. While Rachel spouted off random facts about the movie and Barbra, Shelby was lost in her own world. She had no idea how to get Rachel to open up like she does with Quinn and Santana.

_Quinn and Santana. _Shelby thought. _That's it._

Shelby unwrapped an arm from Rachel and reached across the girl for her phone.

"Mama! It's the best part." Rachel complained.

"Sorry." Shelby apologized and quickly got out of Rachel's way.

Firing off a text to Judy and Maribel, Shelby locked her phone and tucked it under her leg. Just a few seconds later, Maribel was the first to reply.

_-Of course, Shelby! I will be there._

Shelby sent a thank you text to Maribel and another to Judy after the woman had replied.

_-I'm sure the three of us can get Quinn and Santana to spill the beans. Enough is enough._

"Who are you talking to Mama?" Rachel asked. She didn't really care who Shelby was talking too, she was more concerned that someone was taking her moms' attention from her.

"No one, baby." Shelby said, cuddling Rachel once again. "So what were you saying?"

"Frank Sinatra was suppose to play Nick but Barbra said no because she doesn't like him."

"Oh really." Shelby said to the already known trivia fact. "Did you know it was the highest grossing film of 1968?"

"Everyone knows that Mama." Rachel rolled her eyes.

Shelby chuckled and squeezed Rachel tightly.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this and can't wait to get back into updating more regularly!  
**

**xoxo**


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